She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize