"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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