OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
