I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We are two peas in an std pod
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize