btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
