what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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