How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
