she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize