Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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