I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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