Dual....:-)
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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