I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
