Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
