How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
