So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
