Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
