Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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