The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
