Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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