I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
