He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
