Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
someone owes me an orgasm
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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