You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
