1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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