I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
