We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
