This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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