if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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