New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Of course I have a pirate flag
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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