my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
