the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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