Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
