Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize