I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
