dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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