Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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