Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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