I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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