Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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