would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
