At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
