I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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