i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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