White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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