I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
