census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
