We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
