Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
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