i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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