Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
