so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
