If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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