I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
