It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
