i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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