this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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