O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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