Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize